Hey fatty bum bum!!!!

11 Dec

Can anyone tell me how calories work?? I mean what are they? What purpose do they serve? They just make us fat and miserable!! And we can get obsessed with counting them!!

I mean… I take Rudy and Rio out for long walks especially at the weekend when time is not so limited and we go for miles!! Honestly miles and miles!!! Up hill, down dale and everything in between. Woods, fields, villages, roads, goat tracks, ravines, mountain paths (Ok so I’m getting a little carried away!!) but you get my drift??

So why is it that after walking briskly, slightly out of breath, covering 4 miles plus I have still not burned enough calories to enjoy that cream cake guilt free???!! I mean I walk solidly up and down hill for over 2 hours and all I have earned is a measly plain digestive biscuit!! Not even a chocolate one or one of those yummy chocolate and caramel ones!!

Did you know that an hour long brisk uphill walk will burn 454.51 calories??? A Cadbury’s Cream Egg will cost you 445 of those!!!!! Shocking especially as I could so easily devour 2 or 3 without breaking a sweat!!!

Cream egg....445 calories!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cream egg….445 calories!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe not everyone has such a sweet tooth?? Ok 100g Olives in brine ( gross!!) are a paltry 103 calories so you could have even more!!!

Cheese and Onion crisps are a whacking 525 calories for 100g!!! Mature Cheddar cheese is 420 calories per 100g.

But the real killer……120ml dry white wine is 77 calories!! That may sound good but I’m convinced 120 ml is the equivalent of a thimble!!!!! No use to anyone!!!

So I have come to the sad conclusion that to get super slim and stay that way I need to do what Rudy and Rio do… RUN and RUN and RUN and RUN and RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes maybe I should start marathon running.. I know 2 dogs that would be more than happy to accompany me wherever and whenever I went out!!!!

Yes I can see it now…Jogging along all in synch, kitted out in the latest fluorescent gear, sweat bands in place (for me) covering miles and miles…before one of them decides he needs to screech to a halt to cock his leg / meet and greet another dog / sniff that lamppost / chase a cat!!! Hmm back to the drawing board then!!!

Keep on running!!!

Keep on running!!!


3 Responses to “Hey fatty bum bum!!!!”

  1. 2browndawgs December 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm #

    This is so true and so unfair! Although I do like olives if it weren’t for the darn salt!

    • Jane Parry December 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm #

      Oh no I’m afraid its chocolate and wine all the way for me!!!

  2. janh1 August 27, 2013 at 10:00 pm #

    I read that tag as “fluorescent hill walking” and wondered if you’d stopped taking the pills! 🙂

    It’s just not fair, is it? After climbing up “almost a Monro” in the Trossachs (don’t ask) I sat at the top and rewarded myself with a nice flapjack….idly looked at the pack and it was 543 calories! Ridiculous. Like eating Fat in the Bag.

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